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Lamentations of the Soul

September 20, 2007

And the previous weeks of my life was really tragic, disaster and really a crappy one. But on the other hand, these last days, the wheel of fortune comes out to my life and blessed me with a great surprise. Without exaggeration, it seems like the real embodiment of joy happened in me and it came impulsively.

The past days and weeks of my life really gave me a panoramic view of who am I. –a worthless guy. In such instances of my life, I couldn't help but realize that I pictured myself as poppycock, balderdash, jabber, rabish and gobbledygook creature living in this planet.

I want to scream, to shout and to discharge all the things, energy and emotions on my system. I know that this things shouldn't happen. I know what is the right thing to do. I know it. I know it. I know what is right and what is wrong. But, I cannot refuse. I don't know how to say no, to decline.

I do not know what is happening to myself. One thing that I know is that I exist and painstakingly suffering the risk that I have chosen. One thing that I knew back then is that, I am suspended in the atmosphere, freely moving. And if these circumstances will linger, I would definitely deeply fall, tumble and go head over heels. The worst scenario that will really dump me.

I feel that I am helpless. I cried, but I choose that no one should see me. In which people that surrounds me will only see the "me" that is blissful, exultant. The sadness that surrounds me, kills me li'l by li'l. Until, I felt that tremendous grief, melancholic emotion.

I'm not an emo guy. And I hate to belong someday on that flock. But feelings really placed me into a place where I can not go. I am paralyzed.

But last Sunday while I am attending the Thanksgiving Session, all things turned out to be a sudden transformation. Because of the topic discussed by Bro. Eli, my spirit comes out to be delighted. I cannot explain the feeling, the emotion,that occupied myself. No words could elaborate all the thoughts that I understand on that day. Really a big and great blessing that God had given to me. It seems that on that time, on that day, on that circumstance, God speaks to me. Out from the heavens, I heard his voice. I heard HIM talking to me.

As the verses of the Bible were continually read by sis Luz and by Bro. Eli. My eyes turned to be watery. I want to cry. But I don't want. Many emotions intermingle with each other. I feel the joy in my heart. A feeling that I cannot explain. I felt God's grace on that time. I felt God's magnificent Love, and His Great Righteousness in that point of my life. I felt that the worries and pains on my heart turn to ease, turn to be healed.

I thank God because of these things that is happening to me. Know I really understand and realize how worthless I am and how Great is thy God of Israel. I know I am a sinner. A futile sinner that shouldn't be entertained by a great Master. But on that day, on that significant day. I felt His tender loving goodness and righteousness. And now I am grateful. Thanks to the Almighty God for His unspeakable gifts.

Now, I am ready to face the sinful society. And in God's grace I can do all this things with Him. I do not know what challenges would be the next. But now, I know where I fall.

 

Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
Revelation 2:5
King James Version

 

Thanks be to God, and to the preacher that He sent to us. Thanks be to God. Thanks be to God. 

 
 
But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
Ezekiel 18:21
King James Version
 
 
 
All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
Ezekiel 18:22
King James Version
 
 
 
 
Posted by robertlueasturias at 6:34 pm | permalink | comments[1]

Batung-bato ka na ba? Rock-Rockan na! (Lundo)

September 11, 2007

Di ko na namalayan ang Oras habang binabasa ko ang libro ni Bob Ong.

Dinala ako ni Bob Ong sa isang lipunang tumatambad sa akin sa araw araw na hindi ko nabibigyan ng pansin. Isang katotohanang nasa paligid natin.

sapamamagitan ng Realismo ay lutang na lutang ang imahe ng isang kabataang PILIPINO sa panahong ito.

Mahirap, mayaman, kumakain ng daga o nagpapasasa sa PSP lahat ay may kwento.

Ginamit ng may akda ang bolpen ng mga balita sa radyo, telebisyon at pahayagan upang ilantad ang  nakaririmarim na kalagayan ng kabataan sa panahong ito. Isang kabataang hinubog ng isang mapaniil at di makatarungang lipunan, isang kabataang nasasadlak sa kahirapan na naging sanhi ng pagkapariwara ng landas datapuwat nagsusumikap, lumalaban sa daluyong ng sakim na kapalaran.  At sa huli, nangibabaw pa rin ang katotohanan na sila ay kabataan, mahina, musmos at api-apihan ng lipunang kanilang ginagalawan.

Wari ko'y umuulan ng mura sa Power books habang binabasa ko ang librong 'to. Tila binabad muna ni Bob Ong kanyang mga bida sa isang batyang mura, bago naging isang epektibong tauhan sa nobela. Mga salitang tila nakakapagpanting ng tenga datapuwat pambahay na kasuotan lamang sa isang Pilipinong totoo at di nagpapakitang tao. Mga salitang maririnig mo na sa umpukan ng mga kabataan sa iskwaters area o minsan pa ngay sa mga tambayan ng mga may kaya at mayaman.

Ipinakita rin dito ang kasalaulaan ng Pulisya. Mga nasa kapangyarihan na kunwa'y abala sa pagdakip ng masasama pero kubrador pala ang mga walangya, nakikishare pa sa kita ng mga snatcher. At kapagdaka'y sila pala ang magagaling.

Di maiialis ang isyu ng Kahirapan pag ganito ang mga topic ng nobela. 

para akong nasisiraan ng bait habang binabasa ang nobela, buti na lang at walang nakapansin nuon sa loob ng bookstore. Pinaghalong Comedy, drama at tragedy ang tangay tangay ng libro.

Di ko namalayan na matatapos ko nang basahin ang libro. at PAMATAY! talaga ang ending!

Kung titingnan mo sa mababaw na interpretasyon e mga tae na ayaw pang mamahinga sa kabilang buhay ang pinatutungkol ni Bob Ong sa pinaghugutan niya ng title ng kaniyang libro, pero kung sa isang malalim na pag-uusisa e makikitang ang tunay na lundo nito ay nagtatapos sa atin, sa bawat isang kabataang bida sa kani-kaniyang buhay.

Bibigyan ko ng 8 star ang nobela, mga 8.5 pa nga.

Pinakilala niya ang mga tauhan sa isang kakaiba at mahusay na paraan

kawawa naman si AMADEUS

nakakainis nga lang ang ending para kay Cyrus,

Pero panalo din ang pag ganap ni Aling Sendang

at sa iba pang SABOGALOIDS na karakter! the best ka BOB ONG!

 

 

 

Kung ISa kang ABNORMALITE! nakahanap ka na ng katapat mo. kaya payo ko! basahin mo rin 'to! pero wag mo kong 2laran. Bilihin mo!

Posted by robertlueasturias at 2:15 pm | permalink | comments[4]

Batung-bato ka na ba? Rock-Rockan na! (Unang Romano)

Setyembre na ngayon, Buwan ng Kabataan, Buwan ng isang aggresibong henerasyon

Palaban, emosyunal, makatotohanan at may puso. Ito ang handog ni Bob Ong sa Kabataang Pilipino sapamamagitan ng kaniyang ika -anim na libro. — MAC ARTHUR

 

 

Palabas na ako ng PUP nang may makita akong isang stall na naman sa cat walk. Akala ko'y isa na naman itong stall ng mga Born again groups, Yoga Haribol, ng mga Aktibista, Ukay-ukay o Fraternity. Lumapit ako. Nagulat ako nang makita kong nakasalansan sa kanilang mesa ang mga libro ni Bob Ong at mga libro ng iba pang Filipino authors at Mabini Sessions (Libro mula sa mga likhang pang literatura ng ilang estudyante ng PUP).

Nagtanong ako sa babaeng nasa stall.

"MAC ARTHUR? Pang -anim na libro ni Bob ONg?"

"OO"

"Magkano?"

"Ah hindi po iyan binebenta, Bili po kayo ng ticket para manalo, yan po yung mga premyo" 

"Ngek"

napayuko na lang ako. Balang araw mababasa ko rin un.

Para makabili ng alarm clock na may blinker sa loob na kinaadikan ko sa tuwing napadadaan ako sa Bicutan o Alabang, nagpagabi muna ako sa Festi. Nagpalipas oras.

Naglibot, gumala, nag siesta, mag-isa

Dumaan muna ako sa POWER BOOKS, tumambad sa harap ko ang pinaka bagong aklat ni BOB Ong, ang MAC ARTHUR nga. BINGO! may nakita akong kopya nito na parang 20 tao na ang nakagamit at dahil sa pagtitipid e sa Power books na lang binasa ang libro.

so, Dahil sa hirap ng buhay. Binasa ko ang libro na iyon sa loob ng store. Lumupagi na ako sa isang sulok at sinimulang basahin isa na namang Obra ng isa sa hinahangaan kong manunulat.

Natapos kong basahin ang libro sa loob ng Humigit Kumulang Isang Oras.

Napukaw ang kaibuturan ng pagkatao ko.

Lumitaw sa aklat ang isang Lipunan ko, ang isang lipunan ng sambayanang PILIPINO 

 

Posted by robertlueasturias at 1:37 pm | permalink | Add comment

     

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Everytime I answer queries on which how do i describe myself, I find it always as a  hard task. I think  pen and paper will not enough for you to spell out yourself, your likes, your dislikes, your imaginations, your beliefs, your faiths, your wants, your emotions and the whole you.

 ~

anyways, ill try to draw myself, and paint it using my eronous thoughts.

~

the PILGRIM

 at my very young age, i should say that i have plenty of travel accross different places,

from wishes to ideas, from factual to embroidered stories of people that surrounds me, from old time religion to irrevocable science, from potent myth to history, from powerful dreams to facts and from my triumphant hopes to my cheerful experiences.

Those things I always treasure. All of the things I encountered in my life builds me. And all of my experiences in my journey in life molds me.

i love to write, to tell stories (and embroider some.) I love to fly and reach the dreams that i had last night.

 

 

 

 

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